I am a Married Woman and I'm having an Affair

7/12/2013

O wow! This is more of a 'shocker' to me than anything. Could it be because I'm naive, so certain things happen around me and I know nothing of them until they are spelt out?

Well, I do know of married men engaging in Extra-Marital Affairs. Yes, I'm aware of that fact and how the society wants us to accept in a way that 'Men will be Men', that there needs are insatiable - utter nonsense.

Our society or/and culture sometimes, wants to automatically cast the blame on women whose husbands are cheating on them. Thinking, it must be something she has not done right. She must have pushed him away. Too fat, too skinny, nag et al (A discussion for another day)

Yeah! I was shocked at my findings about Married Women having Extra-Marital Affairs. Even more shocked after having a long discussion with a Male Friend who was kind enough to open my eyes to the fact that, it is now commonplace for Married Women to engage in such. He further told me, he, (that is my male friend) wouldn't be phased by any woman's wedding ring. If he liked a girl, his worries will not be whether she is married or not. It will just simply be, I like her and if she wants to 'get it on' so be it (PoPoPo! The world has gone bunkers) Get it on with a married woman??? Please, somebody slap me!

Just when I thought my friend was having a laugh, I then decided to ask around and do some research online - o well by this time, I had to crack the window open for some fresh air (not one, not two women confessed to the fact that 'I AM A MARRIED WOMAN AND I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR)

This is TRUE. It is really on the rise. And apart from those women having 'issues' in their homes, there were a few who just 'fell' into it (fell?), there were some that just got bored of the marriage and just wanted something fresh and young. I got scared a bit, it's like it could happen to anybody (so I did the African hand-over-head-God-Forbid-sign)

And please don't get me wrong, I also think it ridiculous for a married man to be having an affairs, but like I said, the Married Women Affairs was over my head.

After asking questions, reading articles, real life stories and the long conversation with my friend -

1. I thought to myself if it can happen to 'anybody' I better keep guarding my heart and don't put myself in a vulnerable position in order not to create an ugly situation.

2. I would be more open with my partner about how I feel on issues and our home generally before we ever get to 'that' place.

Questions - did you know about The Women Affairs? As a man what advise do you have for women? Women, what are you doing to help yourself from 'falling'? what maybe you'd like to share your own experience. Looking forward to your contribution. ;)

Ok, I need a drink! - Bunmi Olabode.

5 Comments

mutiat

7/11/2013 10:17:29 pm

Why r u so shocked, if men can do it, why not women. Don't get me wrong, I don't Condone either sex having affairs,but my dear there is nothing new under sun, but you are acting like its a taboo..

Bunmi

7/11/2013 11:14:13 pm

Thanks Mutiat for your contribution. You are right, I am coming from the point of view that its a TABOO. I've always known that married men cheat of which I thought was also a great taboo. So, you will need to excuse my shock about Married Women. (And it now makes me wonder why women are being castigated and men let off)

evelyn adom

7/12/2013 07:12:39 pm

Erm!! I personally think that it takes two to tango, but the society at large makes it easier for men to indulge in such but whenever the woman does such a thing it's a taboo, even in Bible times when they brought the woman caught in adultery red handed it was the woman who was brought out to be stoned and Jesus even asked where the man was.HE wasn't condoning the act but drawing attention to the fact that sin is sin no matter who committed it.

Gabriel Oluomo

9/13/2013 12:11:33 am

Growing up most of us were exposed to this corruption, without regards for biblical teachings even-though we are professed Christians, regular Church attendants and even holding positions in Church. We saw uncles and aunties engaging in all sorts of extra-marital affairs, of course, some of us only heard of other people doing it, this infiltrated into our secondary school years, which became catastrophic for some due to termination of unwanted pregnancy which ended the lives of some females and left others with damaged wombs; one would like to believe, especially as Nigerians with many calling on the name of God, many also being born-again men and women...please understand that there are many faithful's and sold out to Christ Christians who would under no circumstances commit adultery, anyway, there was a thing about it, we thought of it as modern, the in thing, if you were not part of it you were seen as some sort of outcast or overly Christian.....but I tell you the TRUTH it is an evil thing to for both the man and the woman, to have sexual relationship outside marriage, because getting married means becoming one flesh, one soul, one entity..ref Genesis 2: 22 - 25. The effect of extra-marital affairs if not STOPPED IMMEDIATELY with confessions and repentance can be very very disastrous, when you study the scriptures concerning marriage and sexual immorality what you find is it that it can destroy your SOUL.. firstly there is a term called Soul-tie, which means if you have had sex with anyone as far as your Soul is concerned that person remains tied[married] to you spiritually, that is they can stake a claim on anything that is yours,[see your Pastor to advice you further on this] now think about it this way, what if that person was covenanted to an evil altar by family background or family religion or worship of lesser gods, whatever evils they endure or go through in that family becomes yours by association of sexual intimacy,usually it is a curse of some sort...it could be great success accompanied by early death or generational sicknesses or mis-carriages..the list goes on..., If you are a Christian you will understand and KNOW that without JESUS you can in no wise make heaven[Eph' 2:12 &18] all these lesser god's are Devil's agents, demons and fallen angels some which had sex with human beings and animals, there purpose to corrupt us who are made in the image of God.[Genesis 6:1,2 & 4]. In general we make informed choices except that many of us do not bother to read the laws governing those choices and how they can affect one's life, as it is commonly said, and this also is true "Ignorance of the law is not an excuse" The Bible say "the TRUTH will make you free[John 8:32] If you really want to the TRUTH "Ask and it shall be given unto you, Seek and ye shall find, Knock and it shall be opened unto you.
Dear friend, If you are not born again give your life to Jesus and If you think you are born again and engage in this and other sins Rededicate your life to Christ Jesus and study the word as it is written in 1 Peter 2:2 "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:..

Wishing you God's best
Gabriel Oluomo

shola otubanjo

11/5/2013 06:28:06 am

Bunmi I could just imagine the shock horror on your face. More-so you don't seemed that concern or fazed with married men having affair, why because " men-will-be-men"? Or Its a cultural practise? .....please...!!!!
We women are part of the problems, not in the sense that its our fault our husband can not zip-it-up, NO.... but in the sense that just like your initial thought "men will be men" rubbish, its no wonder married women are having affairs too, look am not at all surprise, because a married man having affair will no longer give his wife the attention she crave, he will no longer compliment her, all of a sudden he is working late!!!, I douth if she walks around naked wearing Ann Summers sexiest under-wear he will no longer notice her. OK some people might say OK you've got children what else do you need, please!!!!!
What I want apart from the nice house he provided, and the cars, I want to be desire still, I want intimacy with my husband, I want his attention, I want him to find me sexy, of course I will sit him down and talk, do my hair, loose weight if am fat, however if nothing changes after all my effort, I will get it somewhere else, sorry am only human.

I am a Married Woman and I'm having an Affair

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